How to write a love letter – a step by step guide

A special someone caught your eye and your heart, and you want them to know it!

A love letter is a sweet way to make an impact. It stands out as something different and personalized and is sure to make the recipient smile and feel valued.

This step by step guide on how to write a love letter will help you put your feelings and thoughts into words. So you can surprise your loved one with a personal and memorable gift coming straight from the heart.

1. Work out what style of love letter you want

Perhaps you want to stick to whatever suits your normal style and personality. This is always a good starting point. That said, if you or your partner have been together for a while, and you like variety, you might deliberately want to do something different.

Are you going for casual, romantic, classy, seductive, traditional, sweet, appreciative, affectionate, funny, warm, loving, dramatic, subtle, short, long, heartfelt, etc?

What kind of letter would the recipient want to receive?

Jot down a few words that summarize your thoughts on how you want the letter to sound. (Jot this down on a spare bit of paper… not on the letter itself!) This helps to focus your intention and set the mood.


2. Create a rough draft

Unless you’re a really confident writer, it can help to pre-plan what you want to write about.

As above, write down what style you want your letter to be.

Then note down some of the key points you want to mention… the way he makes you laugh, the moment you met, what you hope for the future, how you feel when you see them, what you appreciate about them, what you find attractive about them, etc.


3. Choose your love letter format

Creative love note in a Chinese takeaway box

Are you writing in a card? On a piece of paper? In an email? By text? Sky writing? Singing telegram? At the bottom of a Chinese takeaway container? A post it note on the bathroom mirror? A love note in your partner’s lunch box?

You could get creative in all sorts of ways for your love letter. For this article we’ll assume you’re writing a traditional letter.

If you’re using a pen and paper format, check the pen you’re using is working well and doesn’t leave blotted marks.


4. Date the letter

Your loved one is going to want to keep this letter as a keepsake!

If all goes well, several years down the track, they are going to pull the letter out of their memory box for nostalgia. Plan ahead, plan for the best, and put a date there for those future moments of reflection.


5. Choose a greeting

Make up your own or choose one of these options:

  • My dear….
  • To the most beautiful lady in the world,
  • Dear …
  • To my gorgeous *recipients name*
  • My darling *recipients name*
  • Hi,
  • Hi Babe,
  • Hey sexy 😉


6. Write about your feelings

You create a strong connection with another person by communicating in the language of emotions. Tell your partner how you feel about them. The more specific the better. Go beyond just using the word ‘love’ and see what other feeling words you could use. Try other words like cherish, adore, appreciate, value, respect, like, wonder, am awed by, am overcome by, etc


My heart melts whenever I see you smile. I need you in my life. I cherish the nights I get to spend with you. I feel so lucky to know you. I adore your laugh – whenever I hear it you light up my world. I appreciate you taking care of me when I felt sick. I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you. I feel at home whenever I’m around you. I was smitten since the first time I saw you. I really enjoyed our first year together and I hope we have another 50 years as good as the last.

If you need some help coming up with feeling words, check out this list of emotions and feelings.


7. Tell them what you love about them

Everyone loves to hear nice things about themselves. This is the time to bring some of those things up. Even if you’ve said these things before, seeing it in writing gives it a whole other value.

Again, the more specific you can be the better. Bring in the details. Then it comes across as being personal and genuinely for them from you.

People love to feel special. Let your love know what particular qualities, quirks and behaviors they have that bring a smile to you.


8. Conclude with something positive that sums up your love

traditional love letter and envelopePeople always remember the last part of an experience with greater intensity that the middle. Make sure your honey is melting with affection by the time they get to reading your name in the sign off.

Example sentences: “You taught me what real love is.” “I love you from the bottom of my heart.” “I can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together.” “I know for sure that you are my soulmate and we are meant to be together.” “Thank you for choosing me to be your partner. I am the luckiest woman in the world.”


9. Sign off

You can use your real name, or a pet name the two of you use.

Make up your own sign off or choose one of these options:

  • With all my love, *your name*
  • Lots of love, *your name*
  • I’m counting the sleeps until I see you again. *your name*
  • Yours forever, *your name*
  • With love, *your name*
  • Love, *your name*
  • xxx ooo, *your name*
  • 1000 hugs and kisses, *your name*


Need more?

For the love of letters - a book on how to write a love letterIf you’re an ultra romantic and want to get fully into how to write a love letter, try reading the book For the Love of Letters: A 21st-Century Guide to the Art of Letter Writing.

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