Have you ever tried writing a love letter, note or sms to yourself?
Sounds crazy, perhaps, but it’s surprisingly effective! In one go, you get both the good feelings of sending love and receiving love!
Self love texts are also a great way of training your inner voice to be more loving. When you send yourself supportive sms messages you’re rewiring your brain to speak to yourself in a kind, warm, empowering way.
Send yourself a loving text
I discovered the benefits of sending a loving sms to myself right after I broke up with a boyfriend.
I missed sending and receiving loving text messages with a partner. My brain had become addicted to the highs of giving and receiving love in that way.
As I went through the withdrawal of letting go of a partner, I still had an emotional urge to send (and receive) sweet text messages.
This made me so tempted to get back in contact with my ex, but my wiser self knew that was a bad idea.
So, in order to stop myself from sending text messages to him, I sent a message to myself.
“I love you. You’re amazing. You’ll be okay. ?”
As planned, sending the message stopped me from the self sabotage of getting back in contact with a guy that was no good for me. But I also discovered some bonus side effects.
I realized that I was feeling the warmth of giving love, as well as feeling the warmth of receiving love.
This was healing. I felt care and cared for. I felt compassion and love. I felt supported. I felt comforted and nurtured. I felt like I had a friend on my side. I did. Me.
Does it mean I didn’t have any other friends or loved ones to do this for me? Not at all.
I had other friends to support me as well, which was also very helpful and comforting. Nevertheless, I didn’t want to rely solely on them picking me up. I chose to give myself love first. The two combined (self love + love from others/community) is a most powerful combination!
With or without other friends to give you love, the best person you can have on your own side, giving you love and support, is yourself.
You are always going to be in your life. Every day until the day you die. So knowing that you are on your own side, and are loved and supported by the only person who will always be with you (yourself), is very reassuring and comforting.
An extension of your own supportive inner voice
Sending yourself a loving text is like having a supportive inner voice. Only, it takes it one step further and puts the love into a physical action.
If you don’t yet have a loving inner voice, then sending yourself a loving text can actually help you develop one.
Sometimes people are better at giving love to others than to themselves. They don’t speak lovingly to themselves, in their own head.
When you’re figuring out what to say/write to yourself, it might help you to imagine you are sending support to a much loved friend or partner instead. Then send it to yourself!
Your habitual thinking is so instant it can seem like it goes too automatically to change it in real time to a more supportive inner voice. Taking the 20 seconds to type out a supportive text message to yourself, slows down your habitual ways of relating to yourself, and gives you the experience of consciously choosing a more supportive way of ‘speaking’ to yourself.
It’s a great way of practicing giving support to yourself.
We weren’t all so lucky to grow up with nurturing parents who modeled a loving, supportive voice for us. Some people get to adulthood and find they have to consciously teach themselves how to speak kindly to themselves. This is one way you can practice that.
When you’re feeling down, and could do with some support or cheering up, ask yourself ‘What do I need to hear from a friend right now? What supportive statement would make me feel better?’.
Imagine you had an amazing supportive friend/parent/guardian angel who always knew what to say to make you feel loved and cared for. What might this person say to you that would make you feel better? Now SAY (or text) IT TO YOURSELF.
Ideas for loving and supportive sms messages
If emotional support doesn’t come naturally to you, here are examples of short supportive messages to write in a text. These ideas could be used to send love to yourself or others.
“I’m sorry you’re going through a hard time right now. ?”
“Hey Gorgeous! You look fantastic today. ? Go out and knock ’em dead.”
“ ? ? ? ? ?”
“Good luck. You’re going to ace it today.”
“Look after yourself. I know you’re having tough times, but you’re tougher.”
“Thanks for being there for me! I’m so glad I have you on my side.”
“You’re awesome. You’re amazing. You’re an absolute rock star.”
“You’ve got this.”
“I love and accept you unconditionally. Always.”
Self love texts sound like a crazy idea but they can genuinely make you feel both caring and cared for. Next time you need some cheering up, give it a go and see if it works for you.
You can even help to rewire your brain for positive self-talk by sending yourself supportive sms messages. It’ll give you practice at speaking to yourself in a loving way.